More Bits of Wisdom

The Boy: Where are you going?

Me: To the store.

The Boy: Well, who is going with you?

Me: Me, myself and I

The Girl: Nuh-uh! Jesus is in your heart, so he is going too!

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After a particularly heinous whining streak in which The Girl was demanding access to one of The Boy's toys, she finally asks her brother in a polite and acceptable manner if she can play with it. At first he refuses. So, Mom has to intervene.

Me: Please let her have it. We need to show her that when she asks nicely she can have it. (Little do I know that the wheels are already turning. See, he has been trying in vain to play on my IPhone all afternoon. And I have continually told him no all day)

The Boy (in his most respectful voice): Mom, may I pretty please use your IPhone?

Me: uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh (Crap! I hate it when they turn the tables on me)

Techno Geek: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Can someone please explain to me...

...why these two men were in my dream last night?



Ponch and Jon wanted to rescue me from a foreign beauty pageant were a secret association was killing off cells of international police groups. They wanted to bring me back to the LA precinct to work with them. Techno Geek thinks I watch too much TV. That may well be...

Out of the mouths of babes

I did not know that...The Girl: "Don't you know vagina is Spanish for bottom?"

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Yes, even 4 year olds can manipulate. :) After a sharp scolding from me to both kids, the Girl follows me around until she can pin me down and give me a long hug. As my heart melting, she runs off to brag the following to the boy: "See? Now Mom isn't mad at me and I can do whatever I want!"

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My children have been taught that the expression "Duh" is disrespectful and not to be said in the house. The other day, I was asking The Girl a question with a painfully obvious answer. I saw her pull her shirt over her mouth and then she looked at me like she had just done something wrong. Then she says, "I really, really needed to say 'DUH" but I didn't want you to hear me."

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I really wish my 8 year old said some lighthearted, silly things these days, but you know when you are in 3rd grade, life. is. serious. Maybe one day...

Poor little neglected blog...

Like the new look?

I have been working on my bling, making it more my style than the templates that come with the Blogger site. It's only been two years!

You can tell I am not a superstar about properly taking care of my little site here.

I have had so many ideas in the cooker, marinating, and the time just escapes me...and before you know it, the idea dissolves before I can get the words out of me.

I could tell you about the strep going through my house right now...the puke I have been cleaning up...the explosive diarrhea. But I will spare you the visuals and just say I still have more ideas stewing.

I definitely want to feature a series of before/after shots throughout my house. We have lived here 7 years and have worked really hard on bringing our groovy 1974 split level into the 21st century. I want to write more about the kids and the mischief they find themselves in. And I want to share my pitiful to you, but super cool to me crafts and projects that decorate my home.

Mostly, I just want to share myself. To put my musings out into the cosmos and just see what comes of it. I may not update every week...heck, I may not update every month...but I do want to blog and I want to invite you to please, feel free to come along for the intermittent ride. :)

Family Menu Planning--A PSA

Come, take a journey with me...a journey into menu planning. A journey that may just save your sanity...

Twice a year I find myself thinking about family menus. I like to plan my the season, combining Spring/Summer and Fall/Winter. I write down 4 weeks worth of menus and just keep rotating those weeks month to month. I have found that it really makes planning and grocery shopping far easier! Believe it or not, you really get a sense of common ingredients your family uses (stock up on sales!) which in the long run, helps slash those grocery prices.

I know, I know...sales! You must shop by the sale. This never worked for me. Number one, I am brand loyal. Number two, I don't have time to look through circulars or clip coupons. Again, saving my sanity here people.

NOT ME


Yet, still, with my meal planning method, I feed our family of four on about 500.00 per month. Sure, I could do cheaper but organic and fresh foods rarely have coupons anyway.

Oh yes, I run into meals that just do not work and I have to cross them off my list on a dark and stormy night. No one in the family ever hears of them again...But for the most part, it all works out well in the end.


So, instead of feeling like this when I make a grocery list:

I feel a bit more like this:

"But how? How can I get some of this serenity for myself?" you ask. Well, like a good neighbor, Desperately Seeking Sanity is there....

Here are our family plans for this past fall/winter and this upcoming Spring/summer. If you want a recipe, leave me a comment. Hope it gives you some inspiration! Just think of the foods your family likes, do a little internet research, flip through a few dust covered recipe books. In no time, you will have a list too!

Spring/ Summer Menu (April-Sept)
Week 1
1. Grilled Sausage and Onion subs/fries
2. Slow cooker Mac & beef
3. Soft tacos/fresh salsa and guacamole
4. Margarita pizzas
5. Pasta Roll ups with meatballs

Week 2
1. Club Roll ups/PB& J sushi rolls, chips
2. Fish with lemon pasta
3. Taco pizzas
4. Chicken Picatta
5. Peppers & Pasta

Week 3
1. Slow cooker BBQ sandwiches/corn/baked beans
2. Capallini Pomodoro
3. Summer breakfast: quiche, ham, French toast and muffins
4. Angel Hair Pesto, peas & carrots, crusty bread and salad
5. Greek calzones
6. Taco salads/quesadillas

Week 4
1. Sub sandwiches and chips
2. Kabobs, pesto pasta salad, (cheese and fruit kabobs for kids)
3. Mexican Pasta shells, cowboy caviar
4. Pizza fondue, applesauce, salads
5. Hot dogs, Mac and cheese
6. Onion Horseradish Chicken, potatoes, green beans




Winter/Fall Menus (October-March)

Week 1
1. Homemade Pizza
2. Fall breakfast-pancakes, scrambled eggs, bacon, cinnamon toast
3. Peppers & Pasta
4. Philly Cheese steaks, fries
5. Tortellini, crusty bread

Week 2
1. Calzones
2. Spinach Pasta
3. Fried chicken, mac & cheese
4. Meatball subs, chips
5. Nachos

Week 3
1. Upside Down Deep Dish Pizza
2. Baked Spaghetti, Bruchetta
3. Tacos
4. Burgers, Black Bean Soup, chips
5. Red Beans and Rice

Week 4
1. Vegetarian Chili & pasta, cheese bread
2. Calzones
3. Grilled cheese, soup
4. BBQ chicken, apples, mashed potatoes
5. Tex Mex Pasta Skillet

Edited to link to Lovin It Friday party

I'm Lovin' This Weather

The last day of winter....it is a BEAUTIFUL 68 degrees here in East Tennessee and spring is blooming every place I look.

Lovely flowers adorn my foyer, rising up to meet me when I come home.

Recent craft projects display happy spring colors.

Little bunnies are starting to pop up unexpectedly.

Yes, the signs of spring are here. And after a long, snowy winter, we are more than ready to welcome it home.

Before there was Twilight...

There was The Lost Boys. And Corey Haim--the goofy little brother of Michael, who fights for to save the town from blood thirsty vampires. Aside from by boys in Duran Duran (DURANIE 4EVER), Corey was my first "serious" celebrity crush. I had the posters on my wall, the movies dubbed on VHS tapes, lines memorized, daydreams ensuing.



I was a slight bit obsessed with The Lost Boys. As a matter of a fact, I have always loved vampire literature and film, thanks in part to this very movie and the influence it had on my adolescence. But in the midst of that interest sat a mop of curly hair, a crooked smile and sparkly blue eyes. Corey Haim. We had matching moles. In one scene, he sets down a box and pushes up his sleeves. And there on the inside of his left arm, a mole in exactly the same spot as mine. Forget matching tattoos. This was a birth mark and when you are a preteen, that meant something was a foot in destiny.



But time passed, crushes faded. Posters came down. VHS tapes broke. Time is never kind.



Despite the recent images and problems which plagued his life, and that of many other celebrities of my childhood, whenever I see a picture of that little kid, I can't help but smile. Micheal Jackson's "Thriller" still puts me back in 3rd grade. Olivia Newton John's "Lets Get Physical" still makes me tap my foot. Mathew Broderick is always Ferris Buller to me and REM's "Stand" makes me remember high school. Images, moments, feelings, all pinpoints in time. Triggers for memories. A thousand little pieces that make up the whole of your past and help to form your future. Your interests, your hobbies, your creativity. Even some goofy little kid singing in the bathtub to his dog.

Motherhood...umph

So, what have I been up to? Hold on to your seats....

An entire week of snow kept us locked into the house, no school, no outside play, very cabin fever style of living. Over the course of time, we had numerous melt downs, a loss of two bags full of toys, left over chocolate being secretly eaten, but the wrappers left sitting around, and a handful of hair being cut off for no particular reason.

And that was just The Girl.

Me? I was blessed with a cold, a bum wrist and a short temper. At one point I was running through my house naked and dripping wet, having rushed out of my shower to stop an argument. It was the stuff therapy is made of. Liquid gold for future psychoanalysts.

We had our high points. We made a fort out of sheets and pillows, we took naps, we drew pictures and played games. Over the weekend we made it out and went snow tubing. We did manage to have hugs, kisses and heard lots of "I love you," too.

And as soon as it began, the snow week was over. Back to school.

Oh! And today I officially realized that I am not smarter than a 5th grader. As a matter a fact, I am not smarter than a 3rd grader. The Boy brought home geometry math work that I have not seen in almost 20 years...I never learned difference between an isosceles vs right triangle back then and I still did not know it now. He giggled to me as I asked questions and told me how funny it was he was having to teach me now. He was also really proud of himself--FINALLY knowing something his Mom did not.

Thank goodness I teach preschool. Otherwise Iwould tell all parents to keep their kids far, far away from me.

Ways in which I will not win Mother of the Year any time soon...

1. When school was cancelled for snow, I had a Valentine's cake that was now rendered useless since the party was going to be rescheduled. We ate it for breakfast. It was my Bill Cosby moment.

2. Falling asleep for 2 hours while my children are watching tv. I only woke up because The Boy walked in announcing he was "bored" from watching so much tv.

3. Letting The Girl wear her pjs until well after lunch almost any day we are home.

4. Allowing bedrooms to look like a grand war was staged in them....the toys exploded...the causalities were too high to count.

5. Encouraging cooperative play through video games...as long as they are playing nice and not crying, whining, hitting, spitting, or tantrum throwing, they can play for as long as they want.

6. Letting The Boy wear short sleeve on 20 degree days simply because he dressed himself and it managed to match. He can wear a jacket if we go out.

7. Finding out (after the fact) that my children have taken plastic coke bottles, play dough and PUSH PINS and made rather impressive space ships.

8. Applauding that decision by taking pictures and posting on my blog.

Snow bound projects

I have been taking advantage of the snow days. There has been a LOT of sitting around, starring at tv. There has been dancing and singing. There has been minimal cooking, but yet, still lots of dirty dishes. I have been cleaning a bit too. Every single shelf and drawer in my kitchen has been cleaned out in a early wish-it-was-spring cleaning sweep.

Case in point: my spice/baking shelf. Check. It. Out.

Yeah, don't hate me.

It will only look like that for a few weeks anyway.

And here is my canned goods area, all purged of cans dating as far back as 2005.

What else....

There has been Internet surfing and online shopping.

(Lands End has a great outlet area on their website, by the way.)

There has been junk food eating and sleeping in.

There has also been snowman making and wet clothes drying.

But when all else fails, a good craft can pass the time. Here was an easy one I made.

I was inspired by a picture in the Pottery Barn catalog.

This isn't really the picture, but the closest one I could find on the website. See the bottle with the spoons? Love.

And it just so happens that in the back of my pantry was a old paper bag full of silver spoons and forks from my great grandmother. And they were just begging to come out and play.

I already had a couple of cool containers from the after Christmas Target sale. I just scuffed up the shiny lids a bit with sandpaper to make them look more rustic.

The chalkboard label is courtesy of the Dollar Store. (note: bad cursive writing is courtesy of my 4th grade teacher. ) These are wall stickers with a chalk board surface.

Simply cut into whatever size/shape you want and presto chango! (Pardon the mess on the table. My kids were water coloring at the same time.

They look right at home in my grandmother's hutch.

What have you been doing on snow days to pass the time?

And the Grinch, with his Grinch-feet ice cold in the snow

Snow kinda gets on my nerves. I mean, sure it's pretty and all. I enjoy making snowmen, snow angels and snowballs like any other person. But it keeps me trapped in my house. It makes me cold--I mean really, really cold. It attaches to my children's shoes, making large, slippery, filthy puddles everywhere. Under any other circumstance something keeping me prisoner in my house and forcing me to clean over and over again while shivering from hypothermia setting in would be considered cruel and unusual punishment.

All I can think of is The Shining. Thank goodness my garage is a hot mess and I can't reach my ax.

I do have plans though. A couple of projects I hope to tackle this weekend.

I'll keep you updated.

Unless I am at the psychiatric hospital. I am pretty sure they don't have an Internet connection there.

My bad

OK I have totally, completely, utterly, embarrassingly been avoiding, ignoring, forgetting, shunning this blog. Why? Well, life since July has been...strange.

I want to come back--if you will have me. I know that I am a pitiful excuse of a blogger...a sham, really. But I promise, if you give me another chance, I will do my best to pour my heart out again and again for your amusement. I solemnly swear to laugh at myself and encourage you to do so. To share my successes AND my failures.

Well, isn't that typical. In the middle of my heartfelt, gut wrenching begging I was interrupted by The Girl screaming. Apparently she had hurt her foot (for the second time today) by stepping on something she should not. No worries--shrugging it off--getting back to writing. Ok where was I?

Phone call. Yeah. I can't remember what I was going to say. I have lost the mojo. OK Oprah is now on. It is her last season. And her birthday episode... Distraction is evil. Now I am giving in...Oprah just got cute new puppies. Someone stop me.

I love you guys, please say you will have me back. Call me. Seriously. 'kay?