It would seem my new obsession is reading the celebrity gossip on TMZ.com. They update multiple times a day, so really, it is far better than waiting on the next issue of People to come out. I'm not sure why I am so fascinated by stars and their downfalls, but I am. And I always have been. It probably started with an innocent addiction to National Enquirer as a child. My grandmother read it--why couldn't I? As a teenager, I graduated to Teen Bop and 17 magazine. And may I just say......
Oh
My
God
My Duran Duran centerfolds were just as tantalizing as the latest Playboy of the month was to the teenage boys. Those Wild Boys can be so cheeky!
But I digress.....
As an adult I got cable TV. You have a ton of choices here, but probably the best know is Entertainment Television.
Who does not remember ET and Liesa Gibbons talking about the scandals in Tinsel Town? I always knew who was screwing who--where--and with what!
Why, they even had entire networks *just* devoted to dishing out every little tidbit they can find on the jet set.
But I hadn't seen anything yet!
Three words--world wide web. Yes, yes, yes. It has opened a world of opportunities for voyeurs like myself. Those who wish they could have been stars, but lacked the gusto. And yes, I can be honest--those like myself who are so jealous they cannot see straight. Man, I love it when Brittany has a break down. Or when a Baldwin gets arrested. What? Lohan was drinking again? Bring it on! I have nothing better to do. *sinister grin* Plus it gives me lots to talk about at parties!
It is probably no coincidence that one of my favorite childhood songs was "Dirty Laundry" by Don Henley. So, in honor of all my wacked out, drugged up, plastic injected, dog wearing, pretend cyber friend celebs, I post the lyrics!
People love it when you lose,
They love dirty laundry
Well, I coulda been an actor,
but I wound up here
I just have to look good,
I don't have to be clear
Come and whisper in my ear
Give us dirty laundry
Kick em when they're up
Kick em when they're down
Kick em when they're up
Kick em when they're down
Kick em when they're up
Kick em when they're down
Kick em when they're up
Kick em all around
We got the bubble-headed-bleach-blonde who
Comes on at five
She can tell you bout the plane crash with a gleam
In her eye
Its interesting when people die-
Give us dirty laundry
Can we film the operation?
Is the head dead yet?
You know, the boys in the newsroom got a
Running bet
Get the widow on the set!
We need dirty laundry
You don't really need to find out whats going on
You don't really want to know just how far its gone
Just leave well enough alone
Eat your dirty laundry
Kick em when they're up
Kick em when they're down
Kick em when they're up
Kick em when they're down
Kick em when they're up
Kick em when they're down
Kick em when they're stiff
Kick em all around
Dirty little secrets
Dirty little lies
We got our dirty little fingers
in everybodys pie
We love to cut you down to size
We love dirty laundry
We can dance and sing
When its said and done
we haven't told you a thing
We all know that crap is king
Give us dirty laundry!
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