Someone loved the 80's a little too much....

It was a groggy Sunday morning...I shuffled my way to the kitchen and made myself a bowl of cereal. As I started my first bite, I did my morning ritual--looking out the kitchen window to see what Man Boobs was up to today.

He was out and about unusually early--shirt off, hat on. He had a friend with him and they were working on a new project. Painting their house. Pink. Yes, just like the John Cougar Mellencamp song. *hangs head in shame*

I do have an update on the Battle of the Small Corner. It will cost us $689.00 to move the fence line. I am still calling around!

They are everywhere!

I know you have heard my sagas of Cousin Eddie and his lampoonish lifestyle. However, I have more than one less than desirable neighbor.

Meet Man Boobs. Man Boobs lives behind us. He has Rude Wife and 3 Brat kids. Man Boobs likes to shoot birds in his backyard. He also likes to drive as fast as he can down the road trying to showing off for those who could care less. Man Boobs likes to show off his Man Boobs on a almost daily basis and the really sucky part about that? He has a pool. Man Boobs bought a used above ground pool a couple of years ago. He loved bringing in the caterpillar to dig the hole in the yard. As he ran back and forth leveling out his ground, he bumped into his sad little wood fence on more than one occasion, making it fall to the ground in a few spots. But never fear! Man Boobs (who co-owns a fencing company) had a professional plan a foot! It would seem that he has a spare pair of closet doors that fit that wide gap just perfectly. That worked for a while, but who would have thought that hollow core doors would not hold up to two years of Tennessee rain, snow and heat?

Techno Geek and myself were a bit put out with their dog helping himself into our yard via the outside closet Man Boobs had created, so we put up chain link for the perimeter of the yard. Finally! A defining boundary. Life was good--despite Cousin Eddie on the other side. But then, Man Boobs decided he needed to build a new fence--a fort if you will. And large privacy fence and by all that was holy in the south, he needed us to move our newly constructed chain link fence so that he could build this mother of all fences. Now, I am all for Man Boobs hiding his man boobs. And I love not watching Rude kids day in and day out. But he is making issue over about half a foot on one corner of the fence line. No biggie--they can have it. We are not into stealing their land.

So I am calling fencing companies-not his--trying to find someone to move it. No return calls. And while I am in holding pattern, guess what I see? His fence guys messing with our fence! Anybody ever heard of patience?

Cousin Eddie is all up in arms. Turns out he likes us and doesn't want Man Boobs to win the Battle of the Overgrown Corner. Our neighbor on the other side--the one nice, decent person we have surrounding us--feels like it is "just not right." My father in law wants us to get a lawyer.

Who knew such a small patch of land could cause such a ruckus? I can't even stand on it.

It is all about the lines--and I guess boundaries are just as important to Man Boobs as they are to us. I just wish the fence company would call me back!

I was *this* close

Man, I was depressingly close to getting rid of Cousin Eddie next door. After cornering me on my way into my house (I try to avoid all eye contact, but he chases me down sometimes) he started talking about how he was fired last weekend and may end up getting in trouble with his house payments. After further talk (all of which I would have been too ashamed to tell my neighbors), he says he was fired from McDonald's in December and they had gotten into foreclosure on ONE of their house loans. Apparently after living there two years, not only do they carry a huge mortgage, but also two extra loans. WOW. *blank stare* What do I say? I just said "awwwwwwwwww"

Then he asks me if I cut my hair. Why, yes, I did. He noticed yesterday when I was mowing the yard. I knew I was being watched. He likes it. It looks good. I am starting to feel uncomfortable now, thank you. I make a comment to break the tension about how I like to cut it short in the summer and let it grow in the winter to which he replies that he likes to do the same thing...he has a mullet...

I wish I had the gutso to tell him all the stuffing from his green sectional couch was littering my back yard. Yes--he has a couch outside. I wish I could tell him to keep his 9 dogs quiet or to pooper scoop his yard cause the feces run off is actually making me move my child's playset for her safety.

But I use work as my excuse and manage to break out of the conversation just in time for Oswald to start on TV. Go Weanie!