Friday, June 6, 2008

They are everywhere!

I know you have heard my sagas of Cousin Eddie and his lampoonish lifestyle. However, I have more than one less than desirable neighbor.

Meet Man Boobs. Man Boobs lives behind us. He has Rude Wife and 3 Brat kids. Man Boobs likes to shoot birds in his backyard. He also likes to drive as fast as he can down the road trying to showing off for those who could care less. Man Boobs likes to show off his Man Boobs on a almost daily basis and the really sucky part about that? He has a pool. Man Boobs bought a used above ground pool a couple of years ago. He loved bringing in the caterpillar to dig the hole in the yard. As he ran back and forth leveling out his ground, he bumped into his sad little wood fence on more than one occasion, making it fall to the ground in a few spots. But never fear! Man Boobs (who co-owns a fencing company) had a professional plan a foot! It would seem that he has a spare pair of closet doors that fit that wide gap just perfectly. That worked for a while, but who would have thought that hollow core doors would not hold up to two years of Tennessee rain, snow and heat?

Techno Geek and myself were a bit put out with their dog helping himself into our yard via the outside closet Man Boobs had created, so we put up chain link for the perimeter of the yard. Finally! A defining boundary. Life was good--despite Cousin Eddie on the other side. But then, Man Boobs decided he needed to build a new fence--a fort if you will. And large privacy fence and by all that was holy in the south, he needed us to move our newly constructed chain link fence so that he could build this mother of all fences. Now, I am all for Man Boobs hiding his man boobs. And I love not watching Rude kids day in and day out. But he is making issue over about half a foot on one corner of the fence line. No biggie--they can have it. We are not into stealing their land.

So I am calling fencing companies-not his--trying to find someone to move it. No return calls. And while I am in holding pattern, guess what I see? His fence guys messing with our fence! Anybody ever heard of patience?

Cousin Eddie is all up in arms. Turns out he likes us and doesn't want Man Boobs to win the Battle of the Overgrown Corner. Our neighbor on the other side--the one nice, decent person we have surrounding us--feels like it is "just not right." My father in law wants us to get a lawyer.

Who knew such a small patch of land could cause such a ruckus? I can't even stand on it.

It is all about the lines--and I guess boundaries are just as important to Man Boobs as they are to us. I just wish the fence company would call me back!

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